As to dealing with tragedy, six such significant events come to mind immediately. None of them are unique and their details are not significant to the observations I make.  

Collectively my reactions to tragedy have been a general hardening, a crustiness that wasn't there before. Chief among the hardening is a realization that I don't have to put up with anybody's nonsense, and the crap I do tolerate is by choice. Other people seem to perceive a deepening of character, at least that is what they say they perceive and what they appear to me to be responding to, but I do not feel that myself. In fact, I actually feel lighter and more shallow than before.

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